Definition of plonker in English:



  • 1informal A foolish or inept person.

    • ‘We won't stick it up on the notice board so everyone can have a laugh at what a plonker you are.’
    • ‘We were elected by you, you can get rid of us if you think we are plonkers.’
    • ‘The opening line of the piece was ‘What a plonker!’’
    • ‘It is one of the most dangerous places on Earth, yet in 2000 a pair of plonkers from London and Kent went there on an orchid-collecting holiday, and got kidnapped.’
    • ‘I'm not an umbrella person and walking down the high street wearing a raincoat with the sun blazing down on you and the sweat pouring off your forehead makes you feel a total plonker.’
    • ‘So after all that, it turned out that it was my headphones that were faulty and not my iPod and I had waited more than an hour to be shown up as a bit of a plonker.’
    • ‘I just didn't want to seem like a plonker who had just wasted his time carrying a rucksack full of water unnecessarily.’
    • ‘But now, all you'll ever be is that plonker who appears in adverts on the telly.’
    • ‘Can you not see the complete lack of logic in what you're saying, you beetroot-faced plonker!’
    • ‘No, not that one, you plonker - the one that looks like a 10-pound lump hammer.’
    • ‘And while it's true that there's a lot of crossover between classical and pop, there's surely a better way to illustrate this than plonking a couple of plonkers from the charts onto the line-up?’
    • ‘One former Eton schoolmate, Jamie, told us: ‘He is a bit of a plonker, but a nice enough chap and good at heart.’’
    • ‘‘People are saying you're riding like a plonker,’ said his friend Colin Rate.’
    • ‘The same bunch of plonkers are running the show.’
    • ‘There is nothing on tv tonight so we have got the music channel on, what a plonker Paul looks trying to dance while sitting down… lol…’
    • ‘As usual I joined in - what a pair of plonkers we were, lying there giggling on the lawn.’
    • ‘So I got away with looking like a bit of a plonker, and having to spend ten minutes replacing the broken link (I carry a spare link for moments like this).’
    • ‘I think it's safe to say that it was because it made you look a right plonker.’
    • ‘I think Edward's a plonker and I certainly won't follow his example.’
    • ‘They've watched so many of them that they think they'd be far better at doing up houses than most of the plonkers we've seen gracing our television screens in recent times.’
    idiot, ass, halfwit, nincompoop, blockhead, buffoon, dunce, dolt, ignoramus, cretin, imbecile, dullard, moron, simpleton, clod
    View synonyms
  • 2vulgar slang A man's penis.


Mid 19th century (as a dialect word meaning ‘something large of its kind’): from the verb plonk + -er.