Definition of (as) thick as two (short) planks in English:

(as) thick as two (short) planks

(also as thick as a plank)

phrase

British
informal
  • Very stupid.

    ‘that school is where you are sent if you are thick as two planks but sporty’
    • ‘Generally, I like ads that don't assume I'm as thick as two short planks and present themselves in a clever and/or funny way.’
    • ‘This is very surprising because the man has a reputation as being thick as two planks.’
    • ‘We knew that she was really as thick as two planks.’
    • ‘Maybe he's as thick as two planks and thinks she is a member of the Labor party.’
    • ‘It's like meeting a really handsome bloke and finding out he's thick as two short planks when he opens his mouth.’
    • ‘She once described herself as ‘thick as two planks’.’
    • ‘Unfortunately, I had observed the boatman was as thick as a plank.’
    • ‘Then again, maybe I'm just as thick as two short planks, which a lot of people think.’
    • ‘A person can be very good at reeling off facts and figures but can still be as thick as two short planks.’
    • ‘He may well be as thick as two short planks and show a reckless disregard for the facts, but he's also a grubby opportunist who thrives on the misery of others.’
    stupid, unintelligent, ignorant, dense, brainless, mindless, foolish, dull-witted, dull, slow-witted, witless, doltish, slow, dunce-like, simple-minded, empty-headed, vacuous, vapid, half-witted, idiotic, moronic, imbecilic
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